Certitude

There are things about which I'm certain:

• When losing weight, it's much easier to go from 260 pounds to 190 than it is to go from 175 pounds to 165.

• Quentin Tarantino will never make a movie better than Pulp Fiction.

• Of all the Republicans on earth, Rush Limbaugh most deserves to be designated a Waste of Oxygen. Tom DeLay is a lock for second place. Karl Rove is in a tie with numerous others for third.

• The people in charge of football at TAMU damaged the program beyond repair when they wasted Reggie McNeal's talent at quarterback.

• The days of TAMU beating Texas in football six consecutive seasons are over and done with.

• If Rick Perry ends up being the longest-serving governor in the recorded history of Texas, it will be an everlasting blemish on the state and a monument to voter stupidity.

• I could probably get all the TV watching I need if Turner Classic Movies was the only channel I received.

• The people who are most obsessed with firearm ownership are the last people who need to be carrying loaded guns around.

• If everyone who bragged about their dedication to Christian values actually lived their lives as Jesus taught, there would be no Republican Party as it exists today.

• The worst thing John McCain ever did was select Sarah Palin as his running mate in 2008. There is no possible atonement for this misjudgment.

• Alfred Hitchcock, Steven Spielberg, and Billy Wilder are three directors who made a lot of movies worth seeing over and over again.

• I have yet to find a contemporary actor who personifies cool the way Steve McQueen and Paul Newman could on their worst days.

• I really wish Kurt Vonnegut Jr. could've written more books. Even his lesser works are better than a lot of stuff I've read.