Getting Rafael (Ted) Cruz Fired

My bro and I were discussing these ads, and whether or not they're going viral on social media. The ad on top has been viewed over 1,000,000 times on YouTube alone.

Something I think is funny

There aren't many things that make me laugh today, but here's something that does:

Rafael Cruz calls himself Ted because he thinks it helps him pass for a white guy. He's making fun of his opponent for using the nickname Beto (given to him as a pre-schooler) because he thinks O'Rourke wants to pass for a Mexican.

Why is this manure mound a U.S. Senator?

Concept of hypocrisy beyond his ability to comprehend

Odds and Ends

If anyone wants to make a case against American superiority, the viewers of Fox News should be Exhibit 1A or 1B.

This is funny: Rafael (Ted) Cruz may be getting a primary challenge from the religious right.

Running Mates

Rafael (Ted) Cruz, mauled in this week's primaries and now thought by professional opinion givers to be one step from the grave, is hanging his dream [ascending to the throne as God's chosen ruler of the North American people] on winning the Indiana primary. The motherfucker's a lunatic.

Making this week even more special, the cheese dick has chosen lovely Carly Fiorina as his VP. Most candidates tackle that chore after they've actually been certified as their party's nominee, but not Rafael. He's so desperate for power, he'll use every gimmick he can pull out of his ass.

Sorry, Carly. No soup for you. That's sad, because those two make a lovely couple.

Still, we should all agree that any day Rafael falls further behind in his insane quest for presidential power is a good day for America, even if it means Trump is inching ahead in his.

Added 3:16 PM on Tuesday 3 May: I'm pretty sure Fiorina paid Cruz to choose her. She figured it was worth 100 bucks to see the words "candidate for Vice President" in her Wikipedia bio.

Iowa Corn Cobs

Iowa seldom has an opportunity to do something wonderful for America, but they can help us all by handing Rafael (Ted) Cruz and his crazy old man a crushing defeat of historic proportions.

Damage Control

There's nothing comforting in the fact that more than half of the conservative Republicans in America are yokels and imbeciles who believe that a Christian theocracy would be preferable to our current system of government.

One way to solve 95 percent of the problems facing America --- establish a rule that anyone who votes in a Republican primary is disqualified from voting in general elections for 16 years, beginning with the first one after the GOP primary. Think of it as a form of damage control.

There are so many valid reasons Rafael (Ted) Cruz shouldn't be president, his Canadian citizenship isn't even in the top 10,000. 

Carpet Bombing

Carpet bombing?

Men who have the soft, doughy look and whiny nasal sound of Ted [Princess Bride] Cruz eventually pretend to be tough guys, and end up looking even sillier than if they'd just left it alone.

Must-See TeeCee

Senator Rafael Cruz believes non-Christians have too much power? 

Favorable Odds

Among Republicans, Rafael (Ted) Cruz and Danny (Goeb) Patrick are the worst of a real bad lot. Fortunately, the odds are that both will destroy (a) themselves or (b) the Republican Party before they can come close to destroying Texas or America.

How low can they go?

In case anyone has been wondering, the answer is: "No, the Republican Party hasn't reached the bottom of its shit barrel yet." Apparently there are infinite numbers of worthless assholes in the GOP who are still awaiting their turn to be president.