Improving America

Sometimes I spend part of the afternoon doing what I call store-walking, trying to accumulate another 2500 or so bonus steps on my pedometer and come up with ideas to write about. Today, I logged 1.66 miles just walking around Half Price Books and Walmart, and arrived at a recommendation that would definitely improve life in this country:

Ladies, if the circumference of either of your upper thighs exceeds thirty inches at any point, you may want to consider donating all your Daisy Dukes to Goodwill or another charity. Whatever you do, avoid wearing your short shorts in public places.

Added 3:54 pm, Thursday, 22 October:

OMG, there's a whole website devoted to the scenic beauty of Walmart aisles and the creatures who call them home. Thanks to my sister in Austin for bringing this to my attention.

--- with a ten-foot poll

The commie-socialist Washington Post reports the findings of a poll that indicates conservatives who dance and laugh every time Obama's approval slips a point or two may be in for a surprise if they conclude that people are falling out of love with Obama and falling in love with them instead. Can you imagine their reaction if Democrats continue to be the majority party controlling Washington D.C. for another 6-8 years ? Would mass suicide be a possibility ?

At any rate, I can relate to the poll results. I'm definitely disappointed by Obama and fed up with Democrats in general, but I damned sure haven't turned into a Republican.

Geezers

Whenever I read a typical comment by some right-winger on a newspaper's website, I always picture an old geezer whose children bought him a computer at Walmart, and whose grandchildren taught him how to use it. And then I think, "Damn, I wish those kids had bought him new cowboy boots instead."

Wrong question

The topic at this Dallas Morning News editorial blog: What would the United States lose if Texas seceded from the union ? That's the wrong question. The better one would be, what would happen to Texas if it seceded, no longer had the remainder of the U.S. to prop it up, and was left to its own devices ? Remember, most sane Texans would be heading for the northern border as fast as their SUVs would carry them. In a few months, the only thing that wouldn't be in short supply would be egomania.

Kathleen Parker on what the GOP needs

Lord help us if Republicans ever wise up. I'll admit the idea of a diverse, politically moderate GOP has some appealing aspects, but I truly believe the vast majority of people currently claiming to be Republicans are too far over the edge to ever come back. It'll probably be best to just let them die off, and try to keep them away from the levers of power as much as possible in the meantime.

Oh no, not again...

It must be hard to be a right-winger these days, since they're surrounded by commie socialist conspiracies everywhere they turn.

And what kind of a team will the Rams be if the stain in America's underwear succeeds in gaining partial ownership ? Imagine a professional football team with no black dudes. Can you say 2-14 ?

Added 6:33 pm: Just for the sake of argument -- I'm trying to imagine how the conservatards would've reacted if, through some huge clerical error, W. had been awarded a Nobel Prize for anything.